Dear Henry,

All I can advise you to do is put your knife, stone, and straw into the bucket, then take the whole lot to your nearest stream. There you can wet your stone, sharpen your knife, and cut your straw, thereby allowing you to fix your bucket.

If this resolution is not satisfactory (for example, if the nearest stream is too far away), why not stop the bucket with straw that is slightly too long as a temporary measure allowing you to draw the first bucket of water from the well, which would at least allow you to wet your stone, etc. (Or even lower the bucket into the well with the stone in it, assuming the hole isn't too large or the stone too small.)

You and I both know that your purchase was not recent enough for the bucket to qualify under warranty. This issue has come up many times over the past few years, and I always wonder why it's my fault, given that you have all the implements to hand if only you would use your common sense.

No love,
Liza